I been wondering,
Where did you go?
I been sinking,
You’re still afloat;
You did all that you done for me,
You done put me back in therapy
This ain’t what it shoulda been
So I’ll go back to wondering.
I been working,
Just to forget;
The fire’s still burning
I made a bet;
I told the devil I could make you sane,
Bring you back to the world again,
He told me to enjoy the pain
So I’ll go back to working.
I been singing
About the pain;
I been dreaming
Of the rain
Rushing and gushing and tumbling down
Running down my body and dripping on the ground,
And I’ll go back to singing.
Yes I’ll go back to singing,
Let’s go back to singing,
And outside its still raining…
When the dream ended,
I was lying on my back in the ocean.
The salt stung in my wounds,
And the fish bit at my body.
I couldn’t move,
But I could still breathe,
You were floating beside me,
And I could see your tears mixing with the salt water.
Your blood ran down your arm,
But I couldn’t stop it.
It made me burn,
Until all I was was an oil spill,
Spreading flaming on the ocean,
Dying slowly with the wind.
When they came for me,
They splashed water on my face.
A little bit of ice began to form,
Leaving me floating in the sea.
The boats came along and hit me,
Shattered my body,
I washed upon the beach,
And there you were;
Picking up my pieces,
Healing all the burns.
The Good People of North Carolina.
I don’t want your truth.
I want smoke to make me feel better,
And I want this pill to disappear.
I want to be a chemical whole,
Not leaning on a staff of chlorate pills,
Which block out Demon Serotonin from my mind
So that I don’t have to cry.
But when the rain doesn’t fall, how will all the crops fare?
Crisping brown and yellow and shades of gold,
They whisper their pain on the wind,
And I try so hard not to let it in but it’s dug in deep
The knife can’t reach and neither can we,
Even if we dig with all our might,
And give these earthen bodies to the light…
Still we never seem to win the fight.
And I walk upon my balance beam, but I don’t wanna care.
I wanna tumble in turmoil and love the way down,
I wanna swim in salt water and learn not to drown,
I wanna burn like the rain and be free,
And drift in the valleys of rainbows of sound.
And what about you, my pretty young friend?
Will you be with me in the dark,
In the end?
When we’re together,
I feel like I’m the lead role in a silent movie.
I put an arm around you,
And you look at me with tender eyes,
your black-and-white lips trembling as mine touch them.
Vitriola music plays softly in the background, and I say something.
You don’t hear it, how could you?
The vitriola scratches louder, as our bodies begin to follow their paths,
Silent as we’re bare and naked,
Silent as we laugh.
And then the reel stops,
And spills its contents on the floor.
I cry out to save it but I’m silent still —
My eyes open.
A dream, as it always was.
But the bridges are burned now and the film is lost.
Lost like you were,
Lost like my trust.
Lost on the ocean,
Still dying of lust.
Only the good die young. Right?
But that leaves me wondering why evil festers still in my lungs, and my heart, and my soul. Why I sit here bleeding slowly in the cold, praying for a light and the might of the right. Why they’re all shattered and battered and left in the dark, and I fight and I fight and they light like the lark
Coming down like hailstones and smashing on the asphalt.
Sirens are wailing, but they’re on the wrong track. Its me alone now, but I’m tied in a sack and thrown in a river, babe the water’s so deep but its cool and I like it but I
Don’t make a peep. I’ll do what I want and you can’t tell me no. I’ll fuck who I want and you’ll just have to go, and find another Prince Fucking Charming to take you away. I can only play roles for so long, and I can stop the bleeding but I can’t fix the pain, babe it drives me insane,
Every moment’s losing time,
Or so they said.
I’m crying out for answers but the city’s gone dead,
The lights are dying,
And she won’t leave my head.
The day’s been ending for a while now,
But the sun won’t leave me whole.
I can lie here all night long,
And watch the flicker of my soul —
You killed the flame
but the wick still smokes,
Wax drips slowly down;
Fire’s left its mark here,
But it ain’t long till it drowns.
I come to you, and find my voice.
I come to you, and the wind is blowing.
I’ve long ago made my choice,
And my heart still feels the burning;
There’s beauty still left in an end,
Though the joy is lost in knowing.
Left darkened by the last of storms,
And ringing still from ancient music,
I breathe your cool mountain air,
And still they tell me I can’t do it;
I’ll step into your rushing stream,
And watch the winners lose it.
So tell me now if forests deep
have found their leaves again,
If Chattahoochee hills and meadows green
Have opened to the morning;
Take my hand and lead me there,
Loving eyes and chestnut hair,
Loose the bonds, and set me free,
And with the winds I’m blowin’.